Hello.
I've just passed my first year of uni life as a design student at Multimedia Nusantara University, Tangerang, Banten. Was it tiring? Well of course. Are rumours about the sleepiness of a design student true? Well.. That thing depends on the person.

My first days of uni went quite confusing. Actually I was really filled up with worries in my mind, about how the curriculum goes, which is different from school's of course; about what kind of people would I meet; about how the lecturer teaches; about how to live by my own; and so on.

But as days passed, I learned that all of those worries really depend on yourself. Depend on how you face it. How smart you manage your time, and how good you are in adapting with people.

You would find dozen of projects to do in just one week. Maybe people would suggest you to work on it days before the deadline, but honestly, I'm not that kind of person, but I still survive though.
I usually do it 1 or 2 days before the deadline, and what you'll need is focus. Because for me, sometimes inspiration comes at the last time, and that's the most important thing you'll need to design. Yes, inspiration. It would be useless working all day long without any inspiration, you would end up producing nothing.

Well, I enjoy being a design student but what really bothers me in being a design student is.. that Design is a subjective thing. That's a really big deal that every future-designer should deal with. A good design is subjective. It may look good for me, but not good for you. It may look fantastic for the lecturer, but not for me, and so on. So the grades for design projects are subjective too.

In my first semester, I faced mostly hand-work subjects which I actually don't really like. (I like digital designs more). But believe me, you'll find less subjectivity in hand-work projects then in graphic designs. And here are some of my works:

FIRST SEMESTER



The first line is COMPUTER GRAPHIC INTRODUCTORY projects: you make stuffs using softwares (Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and Indesign), making posters, magazines, etc.
The second and third line is SHAPE AND FORM ANALYSIS projects: you will need to open up your mind and think freely about what you're going to make. The first 2 months you'll make shape and forms on 2D surface, and the next 2 months you'll make it using 3D stuffs like chopsticks, paper, polyfoam, and mix materials.




The first line is FONTOGRAPHY projects, (maybe most of people know it as TYPOGRAPHY), you'll make stuffs using fonts, and as the final exam you'll make a magazine layout using Indesign.
The second line is COLOUR THEORY projects, you'll play with colours using poster colours paint.
The third line is DRAWING PRINCIPLES projects, you'll learn the basic about drawings, draw straight lines without ruler, draw geometrical shapes, and start to learn colouring in the end of semester. And I'm just not that good on this subject.




The first picture is my WEST ART HISTORY comic about Camile Claudel, and the rest of the pictures are my TRADITIONAL PAINTING projects! Each of the project is based on 1 style, picture number 3 is Typography, number 4 is Folk, number 5 is Still Life, and number 6 is Naivism.




And this is my favourite project of the semester :-') A surrealism traditional painting which I named "A Sheep Coated Fox Man"; aimed to the people who is kind in the outside but evil in the inside.

SECOND SEMESTER




I'm using computer more to do the projects in this semester, except one subject which I hate the most.. TRADITIONAL SCULPTING (photos on the first line). Well this subject teaches us to make sculptures using modelling clay, and I guess I'm just not into it. I don't have the feeling where to put the eyes correctly, or how to make ears and mouth perfectly and others, I just don't like it. Each of the project needs a very long time to spend, it can be like 10-12 hours if you make it day-1. And I'm glad this semester is over, so say bye to sculpting :')

The second line is my DIGITAL PUBLISHING-1 projects, my favourite subject even in the beginning I got unsatisfying scores, because the subjectivity I've mentioned before. But I really like my last project (the last picture), making a brochure of my own event, and gratefully I got a great score! And this is also my favourite one,




My digital publishing-1 final exam: making a illustration storybook for children, and I just lovelove the result (and the score:p) and this is also my favourite project of the semester!


The first line is ANATOMICAL DRAWING projects, at first I was really scared of this subject because I thought I would have to draw the human body and its content, but it's not like that. The first picture is my midterm exam, I have to draw my silliest expression face. The second and third picture I started to learn colouring using pencil colours. The fourth picture is my final exam, building construction theme and coloured by watercolours. The last 2 pictures is my DIGITAL PAINTING projects, you'll have to draw using pen tablets, using the software Adobe Photoshop.

So that were my subjects during this one year. And actually I also got general subjects like english, religion, and art history too. AND OH! I learned PHOTOGRAPHY-1 too! But am too lazy to upload the pics 'cause i forgot to add the watermarks on it. And what's with the annoying watermarks on my photos? I'm sorry guys, but my lecturer said if you upload your original project on the internet, make sure you add watermarks on it, so other people can't use it for any purpose without your permission. WELL THIS IS AN IMPORTANT THING for future-designers :) Because my senior already had a bad experience about it, his photo had been taken by a company and being used for their commercial. For me, that's cruel. So be careful guys!

Well I guess this is my longest post in my entire life. Haha!
But hopefully it can be useful for anyone or even just someone.
Thank you for reading this long post, bye! :)
All my life as I started to grow and become old enough to realise these things, what I am really looking forward to is to make my parents happy. I have been noticing that everyone's growing older.. including my parents. Their strength decreases, their ability decreases, and everything decreases. And in their age they still need to work to fulfill my needs. I occasionally found their tired face, or started to notice the wrinkles in their face, or the white in their hairs.. I do really really want to be old enough to produce my own money and repay them all back, to see their happy faces without having to worry about tomorrow's needs..

I'm sure enough that this will not be read by them, but I still need to say.. that I love you.
I love you even by attitude could be rude some times. I love you even if I am not able to show it.
So please take care always. And be happy. Wait until the day I could finally say,
"Mom/Dad, I've transferred the money for this month. I hope you could check it."

As I've promised before in my last post, even if it's toooooooo late.
Here.. I'll introduce my precious ones.









August 2013.

Seven months can be a short period of time, if you see the happy and beautiful moments that have been passed. You will say that time just flies too fast, which is actually true.
But it will be different if you had a bad memory, it hurt you so bad, and somehow you're still struggling against that pain. Sometimes you can just think, 7 months have already passed, but why won't this pain go away? And then all the past memories came back, filling your brain, and you can't just deny but remembering every cute moment as it happened just yesterday. Yes, seeing how strong this feeling still is, how every little thing still matters, and how I still care made me doubt.. was it really 7 months ago?
This feeling often confuse myself.
If someones asks me am I okay, than I'll definitely say that I'm NOT.
I might seem to be okay, but i'm NOT.

"Through the good, and the bad, and the ugly, we'll grow old together."
"I love you, always, forever."
"I''ll never let you go."
"Last long 'til we're grandpas and grandmas."

I ONCE believed those sweet promises,
but the fact is. They are ONLY promises.
Promises lead to expectations,
and expectations lead to disappointments.

I've decided to let go everything.
I want to let go. I must to let go.
I want to forget. I must forget.
But how am I going to move on when the memories are still haunting me.

Since the day you left, I dreamed about you almost everyday.
I woke up in pain.
I can barely breath.
I looked around, and stuffed animals from you are around my bed.
I get off from my bed, I saw the TV.
I remembered when we watched the TV together.
I walked through my bedroom, I remembered when we studied there.
I went downstairs, and every part of my house still reminds me of you.

I go out. I drive the car.
The streets even remind me of you.
When we used to be in your car, going down the streets, and chat.

Every restaurant we used to eat,
every words you used to say,
every thing reminds me of you.

The streets in Jakarta remind me of you.
How we used to go through those streets when we are on our way to our friend's seventeen dinner or party.

Malls in Jakarta remind me of you.
How we used to hang out.

When I saw cute things,
the first thing in my mind..
"I hope he'll buy me this." or "Should I buy him this?"

I love making stuffs for him.
So every time a creative idea comes into my mind,
it only reminds me of you.

So, what to do?
How to get you off from my mind?
Please, get out.
'Cause I'm struggling here like hell.

Friday, December 21st 2012 10:52
__________________________________

We were born on our own path..
Growing up through our own path.

Until the day when we finally met
And decided to walk on the same path.

1268 days we walked on the same path.
Holding hands, and strengthen each other up to face the broken paths.

And when life finally forces us to split our path again..
We walk on our own path again.
You have your own life.. So do I.
You have your own plans.. So do I.

We are no longer on the same path.
And I have to move on.

_____________________________________

My ears still catch every voice of yours.
My eyes still search for your presence.
My conscience still cares for you.
My heart still beats for you.
And my soul still wants you..

Friday, January 11th 2012 22:52
_____________________________________

It's funny yet amazing to rethink that I was in such a serious pain at those times.
But I'm really grateful for the strength that He has given to me until this day..
Now. I'm enjoying my life.
I'm enjoying the last days in high school.

Can't imagine what I would be without Him.
And I'm looking forward to the day when I can finally say,
"Thank You for those hard times that I've been through."
:)
Aku pernah percaya pada cinta.
Cinta itu terang, manis, dan hangat.

Cinta membuat bangun dari tidur menjadi sesuatu yang menyenangkan,
karena pada akhirnya realita menjadi sesuatu yang jauh lebih membahagiakan daripada mimpi.

Cinta membuat segalanya menjadi lebih indah,
menjalani hari dengan senyuman dan selalu menanti-nanti datangnya hari pagi.

Cinta membuatku banyak berharap dan berangan,
berangan tentang apa-apa saja yang hendak dilakukan di kemudian waktu.

Membayangkan setiap rencana manis membuatku bahkan sulit untuk berhenti tersenyum.
Menanti-nantikan waktu bertemu membuatku bahkan sulit untuk menunggu barang sedetik pun.
Segala kerisauan tentang hidup pun sirna sudah ketika aku memiliki cinta tulus itu di hati.
Cinta, membuat hidup ini menjadi lebih berarti.

Namun,
Bagaimana jikalau ternyata cinta yang selama ini selalu meyakinkanku tentang masa depan,
Cinta yang selama ini selalu aku yakini sebagai yang terbaik,
Cinta yang selama ini aku cintai sepenuh hati,
Cinta yang selama ini berucap "selamanya",
ternyata bukanlah cinta yang terbaik untukku?

Cinta itu mengecewakanku. Cinta itu menyakitiku.
Cinta itu membawa pergi separuh hatiku, dan meninggalkanku dengan hati yang tinggal separuh.

Lantas, bagaimana caranya aku bisa percaya kembali, kepada hal yang disebut sebagai cinta itu?


They keep saying time will heal.

I will always keep in mind, that I will be strong enough to face everything.

And I'll always believe that something better and bigger and prettier and more awesome and more amazing and more beautiful is waiting for me in future.

Because I have that one Father that cares for me more than I could ever imagine.
Amen.
30 hari telah berlalu.

So easy to forget our love,
The little things we do,
Like calling for no reason
Just to say the words "Baby I love you," 

I know lately, I've been busy
But a second doesn't go by
Without you crossing my mind
It's been so long since we had time
Let's take a day & make everything right

Just take my hand, fall in love with me again 
Let's runaway to the place
Where love first found us
Lets runaway for the day
Don't need anyone around us

When everything in love gets so complicated,
It only takes a day to change it.
What I have to say can't wait
All I need is a day

So let's runaway...
Let's runaway, just for the day
Runaway, runaway

Girl, you've been so patient
Spending nights alone & not complaining

But I'll make it up to you,
And I promise today I won't keep you waiting
Please give me this one chance
To remind you of everything we have

I won't give up I'm too much in love 
And I want you to know that 

Just take my hand, fall in love with me again
Let's runaway to the place
Where love first found us
Let's runaway for the day,
Don't need anyone around us

When everything in love gets so complicated
It only takes a day to change it
What I have to say can't wait
All I need is a day

So let's runaway for the day
And I'll give everything in this moment
And I promise to make everyday just like the day
"Rumput tetangga selalu nampak lebih hijau."

Ya, gue menyetujui kebenaran daripada pepatah itu.
Dan gue yakin ada banyak orang di luar sana yang juga berpikiran hal yang sama dengan gue.
Gue merasa gue selama ini banyak hidup di dalam bayang-bayang pepatah itu,
dan pada akhirnya..
Jadi terlalu berharap terus.
Selalu berkeinginan lebih, selalu menuntut banyak, dan tidak pernah puas.

Pada akhirnya gue gak bisa ngerasain kebahagiaan yang seharusnya bisa gue rasain dengan keadaan gue yang sekarang. Gue cuman bisa melihat hal-hal yang gak gue miliki dan gak gue terima ketimbang mensyukuri hal-hal yang jauh lebih indah yang sebenarnya gue punya.
Dan biarlah gue saat ini menyimpulkannya sebagai suatu tindakan bodoh. Dan memang iya, itu cuman tindakan bodoh yang cuman ngerugiin lu doang. Dan gue menyesalinya.

Gue gak tau apakah apa yang saat ini tengah gue hadapi merupakan tamparan dari tindakan bodoh yang selama ini gue lakukan atau tidak, tetapi gue merasa cukup tersadar.

Apa yang biasanya selalu ada buat gue, kini menghilang.
Dan gue berharap ini cuman berlangsung sementara, atau gue bisa gila dibuatnya.
Saat segala sesuatunya tersedia buat gue, gue gak pernah bisa melihat betapa berharganya itu buat gue.
Dan sekarang saat hal tersebut mulai menghilang, gue cuman bisa ngegalau setiap hari, dan berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk bisa mendapatkannya kembali.

Saat kesabaran, kekuatan, dan kesetiaan gue lagi benar-benar tengah diuji,
gue mau belajar untuk lebih bisa melihat apa yang gue punya.
Menyayangi apa yang gue punya dengan sepenuh hati. Gue gak lagi mau banyak berharap.
Selama apa yang gue punya masih menjadi milik gue, gue janji akan memperlakukannya dengan lebih baik.

Gue gak tau kapan semua ini akan kembali lagi menjadi baik,
tapi I'm still here, I'm still holding on, and I still believe that everything's gonna be alright, soon.
So until that time comes, just trust me and see my efforts.

Jadi, syukurilah apa yang lu punya sekarang, meskipun itu gak selalu sesuai keinginan lu, atau gak selalu seindah punya tetangga lu, tapi at least in the end it will ALWAYS be the best for you.

Rumput tetangga mungkin memang lebih hijau, tetapi tidak ada yang bisa mengalahkan kebaikan daripada rumput kepunyaanmu sendiri, bukan? :)



To wake up early in the morning,
and get ready for school.

To fill my brain with something,
that'll be useful for me in the future.

To feel the difficulties of understanding a subject,
and feel happy when you can do it.

To feel depressed to face tomorrow's exam,
and it makes you stay up late until midnight.

To get to know your teachers,
and be thankful to them.

To lose your leisure times,
and get busy to prepare your school events.

To meet and greet new friends,
and share laughter and happiness with them.

To spend a lot of time together with your best friends,
and act crazy like no one's watching.

To be surrounded by people you love,
and be able to spend every single day with them.


I still don't want it to be over,

So,

TIME,

Please do not pass too fast :")
Hidup terkadang membawamu kepada sebuah situasi dan kondisi yang membuatmu,
ingin menghilang dari peredaran.

Rasanya ingin sekali beristirahat sejenak dari segala persoalan yang tengah di hadapi,
beristirahat sejenak dari segala rutinitas hidup,
beristirahat sejenak dari rasa sakit dan kekecewaan.

Ingin rasanya pergi ke suatu tempat yang jauh sekali,
yang bahkan kau sendiripun tak tahu kemana.
Tidak ada tujuan apa-apa, hanya ingin menyendiri.

Hidup terkadang membuatmu bosan akan hidupmu sendiri.
Bosan akan rutinitas yang begitu-begitu saja.
Jenuh akan semua persoalan yang tak pernah ada ujungnya.

Ingin rasanya merasakan sebuah lingkungan hidup yang baru.
Mengenal orang-orang baru.
Berdiam di sebuah tempat yang baru,
yang semua-muanya pun terasa asing bagiku.

Aku ingin menjadi orang asing.
Dan berteman dengan alien.
"So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong."
Mariah Carey's Hero.

Manusia hidup berdasarkan harapan.
Dan karena harapanlah manusia bisa bertahan hidup.
Harapan akan hari esok, harapan agar segala sesuatunya bisa menjadi lebih baik dari hari ini.

Manusia bisa menjadi kuat dalam setiap derap hidup.
Karena mereka masih percaya akan ada satu hal dibalik semuanya.
Harapan.

But hopes can also be the saddest thing ever.

Saat anda menggantungkan harapan anda terlalu tinggi.
Saat anda diberikan harapan yang sangat tinggi.
Berharap ini dan itu.
Membuat anda bahagia hingga melayang ke langit,
dan pada akhirnya..
Terhempas kembali ke tanah.
And it totally hurts.

I always hate this kind of situation.
I hate being disappointed, because of too-high-expectations.
I rather expect nothing than expect too much.

Terkadang, saat kita tidak berharap apa-apa, kita malah mendapatkan yang kita inginkan.
Dan saat kita berharap terlalu banyak, hanya kekecewaanlah yang didapatkan.

I have to learn to be grateful for everything, which is a very difficult thing to do.
When we are grateful, we won't be disappointed.
Cause we'll know that everything we receive is the best for us.
Well, time flies fast. Or can I say, too fast.
I just celebrated 2011's new year, and now it's the last day of 2011.
I just started my 11th grade of school, and now 1 semester has passed.
I just had my 16th birthday party, and now I'm 17 already.

Many things happened in these 365 days, and none of them I do regret.
I just want to be thankful for everything.
Everything that I have,
Everything that I've been through,
Every people in my life,
Every sweet moments,
Every second I spent in this life,
Thank You God for this year. even it's not the best.
Or even the hardest year I've been through, I still thank You :)

So this is the end of 2011.
I just hope 2012 will be more wonderful.
No more heartaches, no more tears.
No enemies, and more friends.
No more problems, no more suffer.

And one thing if I could ask for,
May all people surround me be blessed,
and may their life always be filled by happiness. Amen.

HAPPY EARLY NEW YEAR PEOPLE.
2012 will be a blast. GBUs :D

"Please Go back.
Even if you're with me, there's no room in my thoughts for me to see you.
And the reason I'm sick right now, might also be;
because of my heart that's unable to see anyone else."

- Jeon Jin ho | Personal Taste Episode 16.
"Tak bisakah kau menungguku, hingga nanti tetap menunggu."
Peterpan - Tak Bisakah; 2006.


"Dengarlah lagu, dari orang yang tak mau putus asa.
Dengarlah lagu, dari orang yang tak ingin dilupakan."
Dirly - Tak Ingin Dilupakan; 2007


"Ku jatuh cinta lagi, saat ku menanti jawaban cinta dari dirimu.
Kini ku tak peduli, dia yang kupilih salahkah bila ku melupakanmu.."
Ken - Batas Waktu; 2008


"And I will be strong, even if it all goes wrong.
When I'm standing in the dark, I'll still believe;
someone's watching over me."
Hilary Duff - Someone's Watching Over Me; 2008


"Hanya kamu yang bisa, membuat aku jadi tergila-gila."
Tiket - Hanya Kamu Yang Bisa; 2008



"Tapi tetap kunikmati, indahnya hari tanpa tambatan hati.."
Ello - Masih Ada; 2009

"For the way you're something that I'd never choose,
but at the same time something I don't wanna lose,
and never wanna be without ever again."
Neyo - Never Knew I Needed; 2010









A Crazy Little Thing Called Love, a Thailand movie.
This is a super recommended movie to watch, really.
I love this damn much.
The story is so sweet, and the actor is effin' handsome! (read: Mario Maurer)
I've never been addicted to an actor like this before,
but this time I can't deny that Mario's adorable! ♥



The part when Shone opened his Secret Scrapbook really makes me cry :')

You guys who wants to download the full version, you can download it using Torrent here:
http://www.btscene.com/details/2353020/First+Love+English+Sub+Thai+Mo.html

I've downloaded it, and the quality is quite good with a quite good English subtitles too (even it's not perfect :p)
I'm so goin' to re-watch it :D

Hello.
I've just passed my first year of uni life as a design student at Multimedia Nusantara University, Tangerang, Banten. Was it tiring? Well of course. Are rumours about the sleepiness of a design student true? Well.. That thing depends on the person.

My first days of uni went quite confusing. Actually I was really filled up with worries in my mind, about how the curriculum goes, which is different from school's of course; about what kind of people would I meet; about how the lecturer teaches; about how to live by my own; and so on.

But as days passed, I learned that all of those worries really depend on yourself. Depend on how you face it. How smart you manage your time, and how good you are in adapting with people.

You would find dozen of projects to do in just one week. Maybe people would suggest you to work on it days before the deadline, but honestly, I'm not that kind of person, but I still survive though.
I usually do it 1 or 2 days before the deadline, and what you'll need is focus. Because for me, sometimes inspiration comes at the last time, and that's the most important thing you'll need to design. Yes, inspiration. It would be useless working all day long without any inspiration, you would end up producing nothing.

Well, I enjoy being a design student but what really bothers me in being a design student is.. that Design is a subjective thing. That's a really big deal that every future-designer should deal with. A good design is subjective. It may look good for me, but not good for you. It may look fantastic for the lecturer, but not for me, and so on. So the grades for design projects are subjective too.

In my first semester, I faced mostly hand-work subjects which I actually don't really like. (I like digital designs more). But believe me, you'll find less subjectivity in hand-work projects then in graphic designs. And here are some of my works:

FIRST SEMESTER



The first line is COMPUTER GRAPHIC INTRODUCTORY projects: you make stuffs using softwares (Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and Indesign), making posters, magazines, etc.
The second and third line is SHAPE AND FORM ANALYSIS projects: you will need to open up your mind and think freely about what you're going to make. The first 2 months you'll make shape and forms on 2D surface, and the next 2 months you'll make it using 3D stuffs like chopsticks, paper, polyfoam, and mix materials.




The first line is FONTOGRAPHY projects, (maybe most of people know it as TYPOGRAPHY), you'll make stuffs using fonts, and as the final exam you'll make a magazine layout using Indesign.
The second line is COLOUR THEORY projects, you'll play with colours using poster colours paint.
The third line is DRAWING PRINCIPLES projects, you'll learn the basic about drawings, draw straight lines without ruler, draw geometrical shapes, and start to learn colouring in the end of semester. And I'm just not that good on this subject.




The first picture is my WEST ART HISTORY comic about Camile Claudel, and the rest of the pictures are my TRADITIONAL PAINTING projects! Each of the project is based on 1 style, picture number 3 is Typography, number 4 is Folk, number 5 is Still Life, and number 6 is Naivism.




And this is my favourite project of the semester :-') A surrealism traditional painting which I named "A Sheep Coated Fox Man"; aimed to the people who is kind in the outside but evil in the inside.

SECOND SEMESTER




I'm using computer more to do the projects in this semester, except one subject which I hate the most.. TRADITIONAL SCULPTING (photos on the first line). Well this subject teaches us to make sculptures using modelling clay, and I guess I'm just not into it. I don't have the feeling where to put the eyes correctly, or how to make ears and mouth perfectly and others, I just don't like it. Each of the project needs a very long time to spend, it can be like 10-12 hours if you make it day-1. And I'm glad this semester is over, so say bye to sculpting :')

The second line is my DIGITAL PUBLISHING-1 projects, my favourite subject even in the beginning I got unsatisfying scores, because the subjectivity I've mentioned before. But I really like my last project (the last picture), making a brochure of my own event, and gratefully I got a great score! And this is also my favourite one,




My digital publishing-1 final exam: making a illustration storybook for children, and I just lovelove the result (and the score:p) and this is also my favourite project of the semester!


The first line is ANATOMICAL DRAWING projects, at first I was really scared of this subject because I thought I would have to draw the human body and its content, but it's not like that. The first picture is my midterm exam, I have to draw my silliest expression face. The second and third picture I started to learn colouring using pencil colours. The fourth picture is my final exam, building construction theme and coloured by watercolours. The last 2 pictures is my DIGITAL PAINTING projects, you'll have to draw using pen tablets, using the software Adobe Photoshop.

So that were my subjects during this one year. And actually I also got general subjects like english, religion, and art history too. AND OH! I learned PHOTOGRAPHY-1 too! But am too lazy to upload the pics 'cause i forgot to add the watermarks on it. And what's with the annoying watermarks on my photos? I'm sorry guys, but my lecturer said if you upload your original project on the internet, make sure you add watermarks on it, so other people can't use it for any purpose without your permission. WELL THIS IS AN IMPORTANT THING for future-designers :) Because my senior already had a bad experience about it, his photo had been taken by a company and being used for their commercial. For me, that's cruel. So be careful guys!

Well I guess this is my longest post in my entire life. Haha!
But hopefully it can be useful for anyone or even just someone.
Thank you for reading this long post, bye! :)
All my life as I started to grow and become old enough to realise these things, what I am really looking forward to is to make my parents happy. I have been noticing that everyone's growing older.. including my parents. Their strength decreases, their ability decreases, and everything decreases. And in their age they still need to work to fulfill my needs. I occasionally found their tired face, or started to notice the wrinkles in their face, or the white in their hairs.. I do really really want to be old enough to produce my own money and repay them all back, to see their happy faces without having to worry about tomorrow's needs..

I'm sure enough that this will not be read by them, but I still need to say.. that I love you.
I love you even by attitude could be rude some times. I love you even if I am not able to show it.
So please take care always. And be happy. Wait until the day I could finally say,
"Mom/Dad, I've transferred the money for this month. I hope you could check it."

As I've promised before in my last post, even if it's toooooooo late.
Here.. I'll introduce my precious ones.









August 2013.

Seven months can be a short period of time, if you see the happy and beautiful moments that have been passed. You will say that time just flies too fast, which is actually true.
But it will be different if you had a bad memory, it hurt you so bad, and somehow you're still struggling against that pain. Sometimes you can just think, 7 months have already passed, but why won't this pain go away? And then all the past memories came back, filling your brain, and you can't just deny but remembering every cute moment as it happened just yesterday. Yes, seeing how strong this feeling still is, how every little thing still matters, and how I still care made me doubt.. was it really 7 months ago?
This feeling often confuse myself.
If someones asks me am I okay, than I'll definitely say that I'm NOT.
I might seem to be okay, but i'm NOT.

"Through the good, and the bad, and the ugly, we'll grow old together."
"I love you, always, forever."
"I''ll never let you go."
"Last long 'til we're grandpas and grandmas."

I ONCE believed those sweet promises,
but the fact is. They are ONLY promises.
Promises lead to expectations,
and expectations lead to disappointments.

I've decided to let go everything.
I want to let go. I must to let go.
I want to forget. I must forget.
But how am I going to move on when the memories are still haunting me.

Since the day you left, I dreamed about you almost everyday.
I woke up in pain.
I can barely breath.
I looked around, and stuffed animals from you are around my bed.
I get off from my bed, I saw the TV.
I remembered when we watched the TV together.
I walked through my bedroom, I remembered when we studied there.
I went downstairs, and every part of my house still reminds me of you.

I go out. I drive the car.
The streets even remind me of you.
When we used to be in your car, going down the streets, and chat.

Every restaurant we used to eat,
every words you used to say,
every thing reminds me of you.

The streets in Jakarta remind me of you.
How we used to go through those streets when we are on our way to our friend's seventeen dinner or party.

Malls in Jakarta remind me of you.
How we used to hang out.

When I saw cute things,
the first thing in my mind..
"I hope he'll buy me this." or "Should I buy him this?"

I love making stuffs for him.
So every time a creative idea comes into my mind,
it only reminds me of you.

So, what to do?
How to get you off from my mind?
Please, get out.
'Cause I'm struggling here like hell.

Friday, December 21st 2012 10:52
__________________________________

We were born on our own path..
Growing up through our own path.

Until the day when we finally met
And decided to walk on the same path.

1268 days we walked on the same path.
Holding hands, and strengthen each other up to face the broken paths.

And when life finally forces us to split our path again..
We walk on our own path again.
You have your own life.. So do I.
You have your own plans.. So do I.

We are no longer on the same path.
And I have to move on.

_____________________________________

My ears still catch every voice of yours.
My eyes still search for your presence.
My conscience still cares for you.
My heart still beats for you.
And my soul still wants you..

Friday, January 11th 2012 22:52
_____________________________________

It's funny yet amazing to rethink that I was in such a serious pain at those times.
But I'm really grateful for the strength that He has given to me until this day..
Now. I'm enjoying my life.
I'm enjoying the last days in high school.

Can't imagine what I would be without Him.
And I'm looking forward to the day when I can finally say,
"Thank You for those hard times that I've been through."
:)
Aku pernah percaya pada cinta.
Cinta itu terang, manis, dan hangat.

Cinta membuat bangun dari tidur menjadi sesuatu yang menyenangkan,
karena pada akhirnya realita menjadi sesuatu yang jauh lebih membahagiakan daripada mimpi.

Cinta membuat segalanya menjadi lebih indah,
menjalani hari dengan senyuman dan selalu menanti-nanti datangnya hari pagi.

Cinta membuatku banyak berharap dan berangan,
berangan tentang apa-apa saja yang hendak dilakukan di kemudian waktu.

Membayangkan setiap rencana manis membuatku bahkan sulit untuk berhenti tersenyum.
Menanti-nantikan waktu bertemu membuatku bahkan sulit untuk menunggu barang sedetik pun.
Segala kerisauan tentang hidup pun sirna sudah ketika aku memiliki cinta tulus itu di hati.
Cinta, membuat hidup ini menjadi lebih berarti.

Namun,
Bagaimana jikalau ternyata cinta yang selama ini selalu meyakinkanku tentang masa depan,
Cinta yang selama ini selalu aku yakini sebagai yang terbaik,
Cinta yang selama ini aku cintai sepenuh hati,
Cinta yang selama ini berucap "selamanya",
ternyata bukanlah cinta yang terbaik untukku?

Cinta itu mengecewakanku. Cinta itu menyakitiku.
Cinta itu membawa pergi separuh hatiku, dan meninggalkanku dengan hati yang tinggal separuh.

Lantas, bagaimana caranya aku bisa percaya kembali, kepada hal yang disebut sebagai cinta itu?


They keep saying time will heal.

I will always keep in mind, that I will be strong enough to face everything.

And I'll always believe that something better and bigger and prettier and more awesome and more amazing and more beautiful is waiting for me in future.

Because I have that one Father that cares for me more than I could ever imagine.
Amen.
30 hari telah berlalu.

So easy to forget our love,
The little things we do,
Like calling for no reason
Just to say the words "Baby I love you," 

I know lately, I've been busy
But a second doesn't go by
Without you crossing my mind
It's been so long since we had time
Let's take a day & make everything right

Just take my hand, fall in love with me again 
Let's runaway to the place
Where love first found us
Lets runaway for the day
Don't need anyone around us

When everything in love gets so complicated,
It only takes a day to change it.
What I have to say can't wait
All I need is a day

So let's runaway...
Let's runaway, just for the day
Runaway, runaway

Girl, you've been so patient
Spending nights alone & not complaining

But I'll make it up to you,
And I promise today I won't keep you waiting
Please give me this one chance
To remind you of everything we have

I won't give up I'm too much in love 
And I want you to know that 

Just take my hand, fall in love with me again
Let's runaway to the place
Where love first found us
Let's runaway for the day,
Don't need anyone around us

When everything in love gets so complicated
It only takes a day to change it
What I have to say can't wait
All I need is a day

So let's runaway for the day
And I'll give everything in this moment
And I promise to make everyday just like the day
"Rumput tetangga selalu nampak lebih hijau."

Ya, gue menyetujui kebenaran daripada pepatah itu.
Dan gue yakin ada banyak orang di luar sana yang juga berpikiran hal yang sama dengan gue.
Gue merasa gue selama ini banyak hidup di dalam bayang-bayang pepatah itu,
dan pada akhirnya..
Jadi terlalu berharap terus.
Selalu berkeinginan lebih, selalu menuntut banyak, dan tidak pernah puas.

Pada akhirnya gue gak bisa ngerasain kebahagiaan yang seharusnya bisa gue rasain dengan keadaan gue yang sekarang. Gue cuman bisa melihat hal-hal yang gak gue miliki dan gak gue terima ketimbang mensyukuri hal-hal yang jauh lebih indah yang sebenarnya gue punya.
Dan biarlah gue saat ini menyimpulkannya sebagai suatu tindakan bodoh. Dan memang iya, itu cuman tindakan bodoh yang cuman ngerugiin lu doang. Dan gue menyesalinya.

Gue gak tau apakah apa yang saat ini tengah gue hadapi merupakan tamparan dari tindakan bodoh yang selama ini gue lakukan atau tidak, tetapi gue merasa cukup tersadar.

Apa yang biasanya selalu ada buat gue, kini menghilang.
Dan gue berharap ini cuman berlangsung sementara, atau gue bisa gila dibuatnya.
Saat segala sesuatunya tersedia buat gue, gue gak pernah bisa melihat betapa berharganya itu buat gue.
Dan sekarang saat hal tersebut mulai menghilang, gue cuman bisa ngegalau setiap hari, dan berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk bisa mendapatkannya kembali.

Saat kesabaran, kekuatan, dan kesetiaan gue lagi benar-benar tengah diuji,
gue mau belajar untuk lebih bisa melihat apa yang gue punya.
Menyayangi apa yang gue punya dengan sepenuh hati. Gue gak lagi mau banyak berharap.
Selama apa yang gue punya masih menjadi milik gue, gue janji akan memperlakukannya dengan lebih baik.

Gue gak tau kapan semua ini akan kembali lagi menjadi baik,
tapi I'm still here, I'm still holding on, and I still believe that everything's gonna be alright, soon.
So until that time comes, just trust me and see my efforts.

Jadi, syukurilah apa yang lu punya sekarang, meskipun itu gak selalu sesuai keinginan lu, atau gak selalu seindah punya tetangga lu, tapi at least in the end it will ALWAYS be the best for you.

Rumput tetangga mungkin memang lebih hijau, tetapi tidak ada yang bisa mengalahkan kebaikan daripada rumput kepunyaanmu sendiri, bukan? :)



To wake up early in the morning,
and get ready for school.

To fill my brain with something,
that'll be useful for me in the future.

To feel the difficulties of understanding a subject,
and feel happy when you can do it.

To feel depressed to face tomorrow's exam,
and it makes you stay up late until midnight.

To get to know your teachers,
and be thankful to them.

To lose your leisure times,
and get busy to prepare your school events.

To meet and greet new friends,
and share laughter and happiness with them.

To spend a lot of time together with your best friends,
and act crazy like no one's watching.

To be surrounded by people you love,
and be able to spend every single day with them.


I still don't want it to be over,

So,

TIME,

Please do not pass too fast :")
Hidup terkadang membawamu kepada sebuah situasi dan kondisi yang membuatmu,
ingin menghilang dari peredaran.

Rasanya ingin sekali beristirahat sejenak dari segala persoalan yang tengah di hadapi,
beristirahat sejenak dari segala rutinitas hidup,
beristirahat sejenak dari rasa sakit dan kekecewaan.

Ingin rasanya pergi ke suatu tempat yang jauh sekali,
yang bahkan kau sendiripun tak tahu kemana.
Tidak ada tujuan apa-apa, hanya ingin menyendiri.

Hidup terkadang membuatmu bosan akan hidupmu sendiri.
Bosan akan rutinitas yang begitu-begitu saja.
Jenuh akan semua persoalan yang tak pernah ada ujungnya.

Ingin rasanya merasakan sebuah lingkungan hidup yang baru.
Mengenal orang-orang baru.
Berdiam di sebuah tempat yang baru,
yang semua-muanya pun terasa asing bagiku.

Aku ingin menjadi orang asing.
Dan berteman dengan alien.
"So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong."
Mariah Carey's Hero.

Manusia hidup berdasarkan harapan.
Dan karena harapanlah manusia bisa bertahan hidup.
Harapan akan hari esok, harapan agar segala sesuatunya bisa menjadi lebih baik dari hari ini.

Manusia bisa menjadi kuat dalam setiap derap hidup.
Karena mereka masih percaya akan ada satu hal dibalik semuanya.
Harapan.

But hopes can also be the saddest thing ever.

Saat anda menggantungkan harapan anda terlalu tinggi.
Saat anda diberikan harapan yang sangat tinggi.
Berharap ini dan itu.
Membuat anda bahagia hingga melayang ke langit,
dan pada akhirnya..
Terhempas kembali ke tanah.
And it totally hurts.

I always hate this kind of situation.
I hate being disappointed, because of too-high-expectations.
I rather expect nothing than expect too much.

Terkadang, saat kita tidak berharap apa-apa, kita malah mendapatkan yang kita inginkan.
Dan saat kita berharap terlalu banyak, hanya kekecewaanlah yang didapatkan.

I have to learn to be grateful for everything, which is a very difficult thing to do.
When we are grateful, we won't be disappointed.
Cause we'll know that everything we receive is the best for us.
Well, time flies fast. Or can I say, too fast.
I just celebrated 2011's new year, and now it's the last day of 2011.
I just started my 11th grade of school, and now 1 semester has passed.
I just had my 16th birthday party, and now I'm 17 already.

Many things happened in these 365 days, and none of them I do regret.
I just want to be thankful for everything.
Everything that I have,
Everything that I've been through,
Every people in my life,
Every sweet moments,
Every second I spent in this life,
Thank You God for this year. even it's not the best.
Or even the hardest year I've been through, I still thank You :)

So this is the end of 2011.
I just hope 2012 will be more wonderful.
No more heartaches, no more tears.
No enemies, and more friends.
No more problems, no more suffer.

And one thing if I could ask for,
May all people surround me be blessed,
and may their life always be filled by happiness. Amen.

HAPPY EARLY NEW YEAR PEOPLE.
2012 will be a blast. GBUs :D

"Please Go back.
Even if you're with me, there's no room in my thoughts for me to see you.
And the reason I'm sick right now, might also be;
because of my heart that's unable to see anyone else."

- Jeon Jin ho | Personal Taste Episode 16.
"Tak bisakah kau menungguku, hingga nanti tetap menunggu."
Peterpan - Tak Bisakah; 2006.


"Dengarlah lagu, dari orang yang tak mau putus asa.
Dengarlah lagu, dari orang yang tak ingin dilupakan."
Dirly - Tak Ingin Dilupakan; 2007


"Ku jatuh cinta lagi, saat ku menanti jawaban cinta dari dirimu.
Kini ku tak peduli, dia yang kupilih salahkah bila ku melupakanmu.."
Ken - Batas Waktu; 2008


"And I will be strong, even if it all goes wrong.
When I'm standing in the dark, I'll still believe;
someone's watching over me."
Hilary Duff - Someone's Watching Over Me; 2008


"Hanya kamu yang bisa, membuat aku jadi tergila-gila."
Tiket - Hanya Kamu Yang Bisa; 2008



"Tapi tetap kunikmati, indahnya hari tanpa tambatan hati.."
Ello - Masih Ada; 2009

"For the way you're something that I'd never choose,
but at the same time something I don't wanna lose,
and never wanna be without ever again."
Neyo - Never Knew I Needed; 2010









A Crazy Little Thing Called Love, a Thailand movie.
This is a super recommended movie to watch, really.
I love this damn much.
The story is so sweet, and the actor is effin' handsome! (read: Mario Maurer)
I've never been addicted to an actor like this before,
but this time I can't deny that Mario's adorable! ♥



The part when Shone opened his Secret Scrapbook really makes me cry :')

You guys who wants to download the full version, you can download it using Torrent here:
http://www.btscene.com/details/2353020/First+Love+English+Sub+Thai+Mo.html

I've downloaded it, and the quality is quite good with a quite good English subtitles too (even it's not perfect :p)
I'm so goin' to re-watch it :D

A petite girl who is in love with designs, and well-taken photographs with adorable colour filters. A big fan of axioo-indonesia and being a part of them is my dream job. A hazelnut/caramel lovers, and desserts are my best friend. Cozy hang out places would absolutely be my favourite place. Hearing my favourite songs on the radio would cheer me up, and singing in the bathroom is my second job. Loves to write stories about life, and never gets bored to re-read it all over again.

aldo; amelia; angelina; anin; becky; catherine; cathy; chaca; chacha; cyaa; Daniel; ditra; Elissa; elsa; eriana; Frachi; Gabana; gabby; gaby; GCCI; GCGG; gracia; Hendy; henii; hue; Imelda; indri; intan; irene; ivana; ivana; ivonth; Jee; jeels; jejex; jekaa; jessica; joan; johanas; john; Kanya; konayachi; Lexy; liphee; Marinn; melody; michael; miss lia; Nita; nikho; njii; ntandd; Olva; owena; Pink; priska; putra; Reena; rriish; rollz; Sansan; sisca; stephaa; stephany; Tasha; tephy; theoo; Udnhz; Valen; vandy; vania; vania; vanvan; veels; vera; vero; veronica; viyo; Yenyen; yokko;
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